I’m sure we can all identify times when our chest feels constricted, our hearts are heavy and we’re feeling in need of a little extra comfort. We may turn to others to help us or we may find other ways to soothe ourselves: sometimes beneficial, other times not so much (like overeating or drinking copious amounts of alcohol).

Hugs are an amazing way to help us ground, feel comforted and invite our nervous system to relax. When we receive a hug from a friend or loved one, this action sends signals to our brain that releases the happy hormone, oxytocin, into our body which in turn helps slow our heart rate, and reduces stress and anxiety levels.  

I know over the past few weeks, hugs have been a great benefit in my own personal grieving process. 

But sometimes it just isn’t possible to receive hugs from others (for example if we’re traveling, at work, or for whatever reason prefer not to or can’t receive a hug from another). So how can we re-create this so that we can still gain the benefit? 

Step in a beautiful soothing technique called the Butterfly Hug.

The Butterfly Hug is a wonderful self-soothing technique that you can do pretty much anywhere at any time (that you have your hands free).

• Cross your hands over your chest like your making a shadow puppet bird, maybe gently locking your thumbs together.
• Begin to gently tap your fingers, alternating left to right, noticing the gentle tapping on your chest—continuing for about 30 seconds to a few minutes, or however long it feels good, grounding and calming.
• Once you feel a little more grounded, start to bring your awareness to your breath. You may notice the longer you focus on the tapping, the more your breath relaxes and your exhale lengthens.
• Continue to hold compassionate awareness, little by little allowing the mind and body to calm, accepting the flow of emotions that come and go.

I highly recommend practicing this technique even when you are feeling at ease and calm. It’s a good way to fill our cup on a consistent basis, and it helps us practice and become more proficient in the action so when we really do need it, we know how and remember to do it.

If you are feeling very down, stressed and overwhelmed, please reach out for support from family, friends or professionals. It’s important that even with self-soothing techniques in our toolkit, we get the support that we need.

And if you ever feel you need any extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out to me: send me a message in the contact form below or book a free call!