When was the last time you said, "Hi" to a total stranger? Or even smiled at them?

I was listening to a podcast the other day, How to Fail with Elizabeth Day. The episode I was listening to was with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee. It’s a fabulous episode. Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is a well-known GP doctor in the UK that has written several books including Happy Mind, Happy Life and The Stress Solution. He also has his own podcast, Feel Better Live More.

Before they started chatting about Dr. Rangan 3 failures (confused? Go listen to the podcast! Trust me it’s worth it), they were discussing his most recent book, Happy Mind, Happy Life and he was talking about all the research that has gone into how important socializing is for our overall health and happiness.

He explained that socializing to create true happiness can be as simple as saying “Hey, how are you?” to the barista at the coffee shop. Studies have even found that just smiling at or even brief eye contact with people can lift your mood and theirs by creating a sense of inclusion and belonging.

Listening to their conversation made me think about my own experiences with this. I grew up in the countryside around a small town in Oregon, USA, where it's normal to say hello to passersby and most of your local baristas, shop owners, etc., are usually genuinely happy to chat with you. When I was nine my family moved to Barcelona, Spain where it was NOT common to say hello to passersby. Indeed, it was often considered suspicious and creepy if you did.

I was constantly embarrassed by my dad who would say hi to random people as we walked down the streets in the town we lived in outside of Barcelona. “Dad, you can’t SAY that to people! They’ll think you’re a creeper!” Is what I used to tell him as I flamed up in embarrassment and tried to drag him away.

It’s interesting to look back at that and think about the cultural differences (some of it between American and Spanish, some of it between small town and big city) that affected those interactions and reactions. I also find it interesting that the older I get, the more I appreciate the subtleties of those simple interactions between strangers. I have noticed how important a smile and ‘hello’ can be to changing the way I feel in a situation or how it sometimes even gives me a boost to help me carry on with my day. And as of a few years ago, I started doing my best to share that with others, too. I am much more likely these days to smile or say hi to a stranger than I was before.

Because I have found that even the smallest of gestures can make a difference. And unsurprisingly, science backs this up.

What is your experience? Do you say hi to people on the street? Do you chat with your local barista when they take your order? Do you smile at people as you get on the metro or bus?

If so, what have you noticed about it? Do you feel it helps create a sense of community, belonging?

If not, why not?

And if you don’t, I have a task for you, something fun to finish out the summer with. Start small, maybe just brief eye contact or a small smile. And notice how it makes you feel. Notice how it changes the overall environment.

I’d love to hear about your experiences and observations on this subject. Send me a message and let me know!

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